The Apologies by Christina Strigas

The Apologies

Three a.m. searching for the earth she was born in;

Snow that never melts.

The final chapter that begins again—

I’m sorry I didn’t clean the house.

The fucked-up way he said her last name

as if it belonged to his heritage. It got

to her.

                                   

Every day changes her—

every new love kills her;

She never wanted to answer his message.

no,

Yes, he insisted.

 

 

Once with thirty years of need                                              

Riding over a city bridge,

She fell in love for the first time.                                            I loved you.

Once, after thirty years of apologies

She fell in love for the last time                                              I loved you.                 

St-Laurent river unchanging

under her lovers.

Death could crash inside her

Unquiet,

Troubled

Full of cancer cells

The dance of nail-biting sex

in two separate beds

 I’m sorry I lied.

You’d think she made a thousand mistakes a day—

That the Achilles heel

Meant her funeral was approaching.              

 

Her lonely coffin of lifeless               

unedited manuscripts.

I’m sorry,

 

I loved you, too.

 

Christina Strigas is a trilingual poet, raised by Greek immigrants, and has written three poetry books. Her latest, Love & Vodka, has been featured by CBC Books in, “Your Ultimate Canadian Poetry List: 68 Poetry Collections Recommended by you”. She is currently working on her fourth upcoming poetry book, Love & Metaxa. In her spare time, Christina enjoys foreign cinema, reading the classics, and cooking traditional Greek recipes that have been handed down from her grandmother.